Today I thought long and hard about what is means to be a mother. Sifting through old family pictures full joy, smiles, birthday cakes, trips to the beach, playing, fun times, good food, and happy Mom's carrying happy babies.
Fast forward a decade or two and you have a bunch of 20-something and 30-something year olds running around like mad trying to establish themselves as adults and build foundations for their own families. We struggle with high rent costs, expensive fuel, low wages, high debt to income ratios, and managing our ever so important social lives. We get so consumed in our own shit, that we lose sight of what's important - of the families and especially the women who sacrificed so much to ensure we are able to make the choices we are able to make today. So, once we begin having our own children and providing for the next generations, will things be the same? Will we be the types of parents that will sacrifice everything for the sake of our children?
In this day where women are moving more and more away from those "traditional" maternal roles, I can't help but worry about the next generation as we are a very selfish bunch.
So now getting back to the happy pictures of happy babies, I realize that what you never see is the pictures of the pain, struggles, and sacrifices made so that those happy pictures could be taken. We think we have it rough, but the last generation lived through world wars, cold wars, depressions, immigration, settlement in a new and very different world of their own, racism and on and on -- all to create better opportunities for us, their children. None of this shows up in pictures. Neither do the sacrifices that in particular our mother's made on our behalf. You don't see the education they could not take advantage of, the long hours they put in to care for our every need, the cheating husbands they put up with because that's how we could eat, the jobs they gave up because no one could take better care of us, and on and on. The Mothers and the Grandmothers of the world stopping at nothing to care for the young.
I thank my Mother and pray to my Grandmothers (Ibae) everyday in recognition of all they did so that I could have a great life.
I do have a great life, thanks to them.
2 comments:
So, true! I remember all the grief I gave my mom for the decisions she made in her life, which to me were the wrong ones. All she would say is, "Cuando tengas tus hijos vas a ver como es ser mama"
I love my mommy. Your post made me cry because I soo appreciate everything they sacrificed - god bless my mom, grandmother, and crazy aunts. They all sacrificed for all of my cousins and never ever asked for a thank you.
And it's interesting what you say about our generation being so selfish. When I become a mother, I don't worry about being too selfish - I worry about being too selfless and losing my identity as who I am or what I want to do because I can see myself forfeiting many things for my child. I hope that I can still find the time to take part in things I enjoy, and teach my child that side of me. That is something I don't admire about my family. They never developed themselves to teach me what their passions are/were. I see them all as caregivers, as they see themselves, that don't take part in any adventures and stay on the safe side so as not to compromise that caregiver role. Now that their children are all mostly grown up, what do they have now? Either focus on providing care to their partner, if they have one, or hold on to their kids in a somewhat unrealistic manner. so yeah, losing myself is something I don't want to do.
I can go on and on but you catch my drift.
Post a Comment